An innovation that is about to spring up in Reading has not only made the front
page of the Evening Post and the headlines of Meridian television news but was
also featured on the BBC programme Tomorrows World.
This earth-shattering concept which is about to
reach the streets of the town is a telescopic urinal. Secreted during the day under a manhole cover, it will arise in the evening, no
doubt to the relief of Reading's hard-drinking males. It has no doors, it is merely
a vertical cylinder with three little pots around the sides into which the male
population can relieve themselves oblivious of their surroundings or any passing
females.
Before you ask me what this has got to do with refereeing, let me tell you about a discussion we had at the last meeting of the Reading Referees'
Association.
Prior to getting down to the business side of the evening or settling
down to listen to our invited guest speaker, we have what is known as a 'talking
point'. It used to go under the name of 'problem spot' and often that is a fair
description of what our talking point is about. A member will relate an incident
that has happened to him or which he has witnessed. The members then discuss
the situation as explained and say what they would have done if faced with
similar circumstances. We try to arrive at what everyone agrees to be the correct
action that should be taken. It is one of the benefits I believe of attending
meetings, as it prepares you for similar incidents in the future should they
happen to you.
At last month's meeting, one of our members related an incident at a match where he had been lining on a local Reading park. I
apologise in advance to my many lady readers for this unsavoury tale but it has to
be told.
The ball had been cleared after a goalmouth scramble and was now in the other half of the field of
play. The referee's attention was attracted and he turned round to look back into
the goal area. He saw that one of the attackers had remained behind and was
urinating against one of his opponents goalposts. Without telling us how the
match referee reacted, the story teller asked the members what they thought he
should have done.
I won't go through the various ribald but fairly obvious comments that were made but one of the suggestions was that the player should have been cautioned
for unsporting behaviour. However, not many members felt that it was an action
that could be described as 'unsporting'. Had they not changed this category in the
Laws of the Game from 'ungentlemanly conduct' that might have been applicable.
After all it was hardly the action of a gentlemen.
In the end the meeting decided that it should be treated as an
'offensive gesture'. There were few if any at the
meeting who did not consider it to be offensive for a player to openly relieve
himself in a public park where there were other people in the vicinity, including
women and children. Law 12 says a player is sent off and shown the red card if
he uses offensive gestures.
When players are sent off as opposed to cautioned, they are entitled to appeal
against the referees decision and this usually entails a personal hearing. The
player and the referee have to appear before a disciplinary commission to state
the case as they see it. I can hear the player putting his version of the story now.
His plea would be something like 'How can urinating against a cylinder sticking
out of the ground, which after all is what a goalpost is, be considered an
offensive gesture, when it's done every night in the middle of Reading with the
blessing of the town council'.
Dick Sawdon Smith