Beware of parents

It is not often that news of an American local youth ice hockey match is reported in the British quality press. 

What made it newsworthy was the father of one of the 10 year old players being charged with the manslaughter of the team coach after an argument about tactics. 

This case is the most extreme example of growing touchline violence by parents in America at matches in which their offspring are appearing. In a youth baseball match a coach was charged with breaking the umpires jaw disputing a decision. A 'tinymite' football match between seven year olds deteriorated into a mass scrum of kicking, hair pulling and slapping as parents brawled on the pitch. Order was only restored when the National Guard were called.

Well, that's Americans I can hear people say, they always go over the top. Thankfully we have never, to my knowledge, had anyone killed at a youth football match in this country but, apart from that, we have little of which to be proud. I remember two senior referees who had refereed on local Reading leagues for many years, deciding that as they were getting on in years, to step down to youth football. They both quit after just a few games, quoting the attitude of parents as the reason.

Parents' misbehaviour at football matches is nothing new. I remember some years ago a mother phoning me one Sunday to say that her son was not going to referee any more. This lad had already created a little history locally, being the first fourteen year old to pass the referee's examination. I had seen him referee and in my opinion he had a good future. 

However, his mother told me that he had been harassed and verbally abused by one of the parents, an ex professional footballer, to such an extent that he didn't want to carry on. 

We made investigations, and found how long this type of behaviour has been plaguing the game. It doesn't seem to be abating and the F.A. suggests that it is better for young referees to be given games in lower divisions of men's football rather than be put off by parent power. I think that this is sad and more should be done about it. 

My nephew Graham whose goal-scoring exploits have often been reported in the Post, played as a schoolboy for Reading Boys. David Downs who ran the schools football for so many years called all the parents together. He told them that he was happy for them to support the team but, if they used bad language or abused the referees, they would no longer be welcome. If they still insisted on attending he would not pick their son to play. An excellent positive policy. 

Durham County F.A. have published a parents' Code of Conduct, something which I feel should be extended and promoted throughout the country. It's not just the referees that suffer from this behaviour. The children themselves are often verbally lashed for not coming up to their parents' expectations. Then there are coaches who feel that they should be doing their stuff in the Premiership and not on a local park. In my capacity as a refereeing coach I went to see a new referee take charge of a local girls' league match. After the abuse their coach heaped on these poor girls, I'm surprised they ever wanted to play again.

Dick Sawdon Smith

 

© R Sawdon Smith 

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